In A Student’s Words…Kristin D. (Entry 4)
Dealing with Loss as a Physical Therapist
During my last clinical, I worked with people who have chronic, progressive neurological diseases. After a few weeks working in this setting, the magnitude of what I was dealing with on a daily basis started to affect me. I felt like I handled it well until one day I looked into the waiting room and saw a woman, only one year older than me who was very distressed. She was in the clinic that day because she was having a relapse and needed treatment. That was my first time to get upset in the clinic. After talking about it with my clinical instructor, I realized that I will have a career full of both wonderful and terribly sad experiences.
A few weeks later I was following a neurologist in the clinic. She had to tell a person they had ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease), a disease of the nerve cells that control voluntary muscle movements. This person had only 2 to 5 years to live and would lose strength and coordination and would eventually not be able to walk, stand, sit independently, swallow, or even breathe. Now there I was, standing as close to the wall as possible wishing I could disappear, while this family began their grieving process. I had many thoughts run through my head, especially one of gratitude that I decided to be a physical therapist instead of a physician. However, I realized that I will be working with people who are dying, who are hurting, who are alone. All health care professionals have to deal with difficult situations. I will have patients who die. I will have patients that I work tireless with, but won’t get better.
My goal is to find a mentor who has gone through these situations and has come out with knowledge on how to deal with grief and loss as a health care professional. Fortunately, my CI was able to be that person for me at this clinic. She has been a neuro PT for 15 years and was able to help me realize that it is important to keep a healthy balance in life. While I will face difficult times, I cannot take every sad situation home with me at night, or I will go crazy. I can advocate for my patients, and give the best care possible, and that is all I can do. I am still glad I chose this profession, because although sad times will come, amazing times are around the corner and I will get to help people have better lives.
- Kristin D.
